It is entirely possible, of course, that this is just the people I know and where I hang out. But it makes me wonder …

I have limited experience discussing Harry Potter on messageboards, but the key person in the discussions I *did* have was male, with other women contributing and some other guys. On Tolkien messageboards, the people I discuss the books with are a mix of men and women, so that I don’t feel one overpowers the other. The people I discuss the swoonability of Frodo or the making of costumes with are all women, so it is understandable that certain niches in fandom are predominately female. I suppose both fanart and fanfic in Tolkien fandom are predominately female.

I know that there are male fannish (mannish? ) spaces in fandom. I’m always curious how they work compared to the female-dominated spaces, like Tolkien and HP, to name two biggies in the book-based fandoms and how their cultures differ, particularly with respective to a collective nature and how they handle sexuality (or don’t). Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find an interest in any of these fandoms, so I suppose, for now, I’ll never know. But it’s fun to speculate.

Well darling husband is a whovian (dr Who) and loves anime, if I would have to compare my fannish time with his, he wins big time. But then again, he does not find the challenge in writing fiction. He loves playing with language (and is a great editor), but not for writing fiction. His interests lies more in reviewing and writing up recs, talking on fora and so on. How often he does not sneak up to his den just to type an entry or together with fellow fan watches episodes weekly and take turns in reviewing and starting discussions (and yes, creatively build pages to host those posts so that people later on can find their discussions). In that sense its no different than us debating the morality of eum… Mandos (just made that up) or discuss about writers and the craft.

I know that there are male fannish (mannish? ) spaces in fandom. I’m always curious how they work compared to the female-dominated spaces, like Tolkien and HP, to name two biggies in the book-based fandoms and how their cultures differ, particularly with respective to a collective nature and how they handle sexuality (or don’t). Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find an interest in any of these fandoms, so I suppose, for now, I’ll never know. But it’s fun to speculate.

Oh and for the female space.. there is man space in the fandom. For example my husband sometimes shares with me how many men put time in subtitling episodes, making fansubs (of anime for example), so they are engaged, but differently

Thanks for sharing this!

An example:
“AFTER I had published, at the solicitous entreaties of certain brethren, a brief work (the Monologium) as an example of meditation on the grounds of faith, in the person of one who investigates, in a course of silent reasoning with himself, matters of which he is ignorant; considering that this book was knit together by the linking of many arguments, I began to ask myself whether there might be found a single argument which would require no other for its proof than itself alone; and alone would suffice to demonstrate that God truly exists, and that there is a supreme good requiring nothing else, which all other things require for their existence and well-being; and whatever we believe regarding the divine Being.

Although I often and earnestly directed my thought to this end, and at some times that which I sought seemed to be just within my reach, while again it wholly evaded my mental vision, at last in despair I was about to cease, as if from the search for a thing which could not be found. But when I wished to exclude this thought altogether, lest, by busying my mind to no purpose, it should keep me from other thoughts, in which I might be successful; then more and more, though I was unwilling and shunned it, it began to force itself upon me, with a kind of importunity. So, one day, when I was exceedingly wearied with resisting its importunity, in the very conflict of my thoughts, the proof of which I had despaired offered itself, so that I eagerly embraced the thoughts which I was strenuously repelling.

Thinking, therefore, that what I rejoiced to have found, would, if put in writing, be welcome to some readers, of this very matter, and of some others, I have written the following treatise, in the person of one who strives to lift his mind to the contemplation of God, and seeks to understand what he believes. In my judgment, neither this work nor the other, which I mentioned above, deserved to be called a book, or to bear the name of an author; and yet I thought they ought not to be sent forth without some title by which they might, in some sort, invite one into whose hands they fell to their perusal. I accordingly gave each a title, that the first might be known as, An Example of Meditation on the Grounds of Faith, and its sequel as, Faith Seeking Understanding. But, after, both had been copied by many under these titles, many urged me, and especially Hugo, the reverend Archbishop of Lyons, who discharges the apostolic office in Gaul, who instructed me to this effect on his apostolic authority –to prefix my name to these writings. And that this might be done more fitly, I named the first, Monologium, that is, A Soliloquy; but the second, Proslogium, that is, A Discourse.”

That is the Preface to St. Anselm’s Proslogium. I realize he is a man *grin* but that is what I was reminded of while reading your entry. Apparently, this is a very old dilemma; he’s 11th century.

Now my family does take priority over fandom. And I suppose that by the strict Kantian definition, then I am selfish for this … but I will be selfish then.

Other things that I do I could put before fandom without guilt, like my studies, because I hope that they will one day benefit as many or more people than my fannish activities do.

But when it comes to my personal writing, I often feel guilty to putting it ahead of anything. Which brings your question around to my conundrum.

Compare that with RL. You can post pictures, share anecdotes, but really, I cannot enter into it the same way that Bobby can, or your parents or coworkers or even your dogs. You share it, but that is a secondhand experience. Odds are you don’t share everything, with everyone; and even if you do, I’d wager you’re in the minority. So in some sense time you spend in RL may be shared selflessly with a small group, but the result of time spent on fandom is shared even more widely.

Which raises the question: why isn’t fandom less selfish than “real life” in-person interactions?

I’m not actually saying it’s selfish to neglect fandom. More just proposing a question to think on.